I bought some tea the other day.
It sits in my windowsill above my kitchen sink. A reminder to this frazzled mom... get a grip, it tells me. I've needed that reminder lately as I make my way through the fog of temper tantrums, a new driver in the house, and a son who has been really good at being 13 lately.
Get a grip.
Get a grip.
Get a grip.
It claims that I will find hormonal balance. Balance is a good thing. Every woman could use some hormonal balance, just ask the people living with her! So, I will sit, sip, and get some balance in my life. And for this day, I will heed its' advice. I will take a deep breath, and get a good grip.
Finding humor, beauty, and grace amongst the trials of motherhood, while always remembering to dance in the kitchen!
Come on in... sit down, and have a cup of dare!
Quote of the Week
"Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it." ~Bernard Meltzer
Friday, September 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Death of Common Sense
~Author Unknown
My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me for a moment of silence in remembrance. For Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.
Obituary
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when pa rents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't legally defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me for a moment of silence in remembrance. For Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.
Obituary
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when pa rents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't legally defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Friday, September 21, 2007
The Invisible Woman
I received this story the other day, from my friend Debbie. It is written by Nicole Johnson, and touched me so much that I knew I had to share it. I hope it is an inspiration to you.
The Invisible Woman
By Nicole Johnson
It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?" "Nobody," he shrugged. "Nobody?" The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street, I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?" I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing. Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking. That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me. I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not! No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought this for you." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: *No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. *These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. *They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. * The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied,"Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built,but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Labels:
Faith,
kids,
Motherhood
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thunderstorm
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: "The big sissy."
(Taken from the book, Espresso for your Spirit... Hope and Humor for Pooped Out Parents by Pam Vredevelt)
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The Dare Chair
Come on in, and pull up a chair! I'm here to inspire you, encourage you, or just plaine Double Dog Dare you to get out and do something you never thought you could do! Periodically, I'll add a quote, comment, or story which will hopefully give you just enough of a nudge to follow your dreams... to take that class, go rock climbing, run a marathon, start that exercise routine, eat healthy, write a book, or whatever your heart desires. You are the author of your life... live it!
Monday: Sit down, have a cup of dare, and write down your goals. Post them all over the house, if it helps! No matter how crazy the goals seem, don't talk yourself out of them! You are strong, you are invincible, you are WOMAN!
Tuesday:
Find a friend to hold you accountable. Accountability is huge! If you have a network of support, your chances of failing are less. Make sure you choose someone that is not afraid of pushing you! Usually moms, grandmas and husbands are not the best choices; they're either afraid of hurting your feelings, think you are fine just the way you are, or do not want to end up in the dog's house! So, choose that friend that is honest, no matter what the cost... trust me, you'll need her!
Wednesday:
Okay, so now you have someone to hold you accountable; great start. Now, be a blabber-mouth. Tell as many people as you can what your goal is. Knowing that so many people are waiting for you to succeed will be a huge motivator. I know when I skiied the Birkie, there were many times along the trail that I truly wanted to quit. I knew I had a cheering section on Main Street waiting for me to cross that finish line. That was enough to motivate me to keep going, one stride at a time.
Thursday:
If you fully realize nothing else, take a big dose of reality on this one... this is going to be hard, uncomfortable, and many times not enjoyable (depending on what the goal is). So, now that you know that, get over it! Achieving your goal will be worth the sweat and tears. Really... it will. Push yourself beyond your former limits. Get rid of self doubt! Even if it is the hardest thing you've ever done, do it with all you've got! Swallow your insecurities, hide your inhibitions, and show yourself just how strong you really are. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Friday:
Try not to look too far into the future. Break your goal into steps, and focus on one at a time. Now, if your goal is to join a class, by all means bite the bullet and do it now; no need to take baby steps on that one! But, if your goal is for example, a marathon, don't quit after the first week because you can't run ten miles! Give yourself time to reach the larger goals. In the meantime, give it ALL YOU'VE GOT, and be pleased with the little steps towards your goal.
Saturday:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!!! (Take it from Winston Churchill... he knew what he was talking about!)
Sunday:
Take one day to rest, or have a special treat. You've worked hard all week, but make sure you don't reward yourself too much... i.e. a whole bag of Hershey's Kisses!!!
SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHOW THEM YOUR PROGRESS, WHETHER IT IS ART WORK YOU'VE DONE, CLASS WORK, A NEW DANCE YOU'VE LEARNED, OR THE NEW PAIR OF PANTS YOU NOW FIT INTO. CELEBRATE!!
Check out the Blog Archive for writings pertaining to the Dare Chair: April--Uncomfortable, Checking In
INSPIRING QUOTES: If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell. ~Lance Armstrong
If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities. Barbara Bush
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly. John F. Kennedy
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions. Louisa May Alcott
There's a need for accepting responsibility - for a person's life and making choices that are not just ones for immediate short-term comfort. You need to make an investment, and the investment is in health and education. Buzz Aldrin
Monday: Sit down, have a cup of dare, and write down your goals. Post them all over the house, if it helps! No matter how crazy the goals seem, don't talk yourself out of them! You are strong, you are invincible, you are WOMAN!
Tuesday:
Find a friend to hold you accountable. Accountability is huge! If you have a network of support, your chances of failing are less. Make sure you choose someone that is not afraid of pushing you! Usually moms, grandmas and husbands are not the best choices; they're either afraid of hurting your feelings, think you are fine just the way you are, or do not want to end up in the dog's house! So, choose that friend that is honest, no matter what the cost... trust me, you'll need her!
Wednesday:
Okay, so now you have someone to hold you accountable; great start. Now, be a blabber-mouth. Tell as many people as you can what your goal is. Knowing that so many people are waiting for you to succeed will be a huge motivator. I know when I skiied the Birkie, there were many times along the trail that I truly wanted to quit. I knew I had a cheering section on Main Street waiting for me to cross that finish line. That was enough to motivate me to keep going, one stride at a time.
Thursday:
If you fully realize nothing else, take a big dose of reality on this one... this is going to be hard, uncomfortable, and many times not enjoyable (depending on what the goal is). So, now that you know that, get over it! Achieving your goal will be worth the sweat and tears. Really... it will. Push yourself beyond your former limits. Get rid of self doubt! Even if it is the hardest thing you've ever done, do it with all you've got! Swallow your insecurities, hide your inhibitions, and show yourself just how strong you really are. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Friday:
Try not to look too far into the future. Break your goal into steps, and focus on one at a time. Now, if your goal is to join a class, by all means bite the bullet and do it now; no need to take baby steps on that one! But, if your goal is for example, a marathon, don't quit after the first week because you can't run ten miles! Give yourself time to reach the larger goals. In the meantime, give it ALL YOU'VE GOT, and be pleased with the little steps towards your goal.
Saturday:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!!! (Take it from Winston Churchill... he knew what he was talking about!)
Sunday:
Take one day to rest, or have a special treat. You've worked hard all week, but make sure you don't reward yourself too much... i.e. a whole bag of Hershey's Kisses!!!
SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHOW THEM YOUR PROGRESS, WHETHER IT IS ART WORK YOU'VE DONE, CLASS WORK, A NEW DANCE YOU'VE LEARNED, OR THE NEW PAIR OF PANTS YOU NOW FIT INTO. CELEBRATE!!
Check out the Blog Archive for writings pertaining to the Dare Chair: April--Uncomfortable, Checking In
INSPIRING QUOTES: If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell. ~Lance Armstrong
If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities. Barbara Bush
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly. John F. Kennedy
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions. Louisa May Alcott
There's a need for accepting responsibility - for a person's life and making choices that are not just ones for immediate short-term comfort. You need to make an investment, and the investment is in health and education. Buzz Aldrin
Have a Need to Read?
This Chick's Groovy Music... start dancin'!
- Aretha Franklin
- Chicago Motion Picture Soundtrack... This one is great to sing along to... especially when cleaning the house!
- Chris Botti... great trumpet player, his music is just beautiful!
- Christmas Music, of course! Bing, Frank, Rosemary... all the classics!
- Diana Krall
- Ella Fitzgerald
- Eric Clapton... I can' t seem to hear enough of his music lately!
- Eva Cassidy... worth finding!
- Johnny Cash - great for two-stepping around the kitchen island... if a babe is in your arms, all the better! (A tiny babe, or a Hunky Babe... either one will do!)
- Loggins & Messina.... ahh... "feel good" music
- Neil Diamond... I've loved his music my whole life.
- Norah Jones
- Phantom of the Opera (motion picture soundtrack)
- Ray Charles... I can't help but to smile when I hear him sing.
- Renee Olstead
- The Notebook Motion Picture Soundtrack