Courage

Refining Fire

I must admit, I am amazed.

I was confused.

Now it is all clear.

The subbing job that I told you about, on the Reservation, has been the hardest job I have ever had in my life. I was shocked, I cried, and I must sadly admit that I never wanted to work there, even if I was paid a million dollars.

Fast forward 3 weeks...

I LOVE IT!!!!!

"WHAT?!," you say?

Yes, I love it. I was put through the refining fire by the students, and I have arrived on the other side, molded, strong, and shining. I understand why they tested me and did not trust me just because I am a teacher. I actually have a respect for their tests. Their trust does not come easily. I feel like I have won a medal worth far more than any medal Hollywood could give. I have won the respect of middle school children who have been through far more in their short lives than I have. They hold onto their trust, and do not give it away easily; you must earn it... every bit of it.

Yesterday, two 8th graders thanked me for taking their teacher's place. Their gift of thanks meant the world to me... it brought tears to my eyes. That thanks was hard-earned. I will never forget that feeling.

I adore the kids that have been in my classes. I hope to watch them grow, explore, and succeed. They taught me a whole lot in 3 weeks. I am sad that I only have one week left with them.

They will truly be missed.

God's File

God is using his giant file on me today, and it hurts. He is molding me, filing down my rough edges, and hopefully, is creating a masterpiece.

I found out today that I did not get a teaching job that I had oh, so desperately wanted. Many tears have fallen today, but do you want to know something funny? I actually had a really good day teaching at the challenging subbing job I told you about last week. I figure that either:

a. The kids knew I was hurting and let up on their hurtful remarks and attitudes

or

b. The kids are starting to treat me like a teacher, and not a substitute.

All I know, is that for the most part, they were very enjoyable today! There is light at the end of the tunnel!!

As far as the job goes, I will choose to trust that God is placing me right where He wants me. I will go where he sends me because you see, I would rather be in the most challenging job of my life, and be in the center of His will, than be at an easier job, and be out of His will.

So the next time you see me, I may be a bit smoother in spots, due to God's filing. My band-aids may be showing, but something tells me I will be more beautiful in places that really matter.

Speechless

I'm actually at a loss for words other than, "Where's her super-hero cape?" (Click on Check this out to find out why.)

Check this out...

I'll Be Fine

It's time to start gathering my pieces, and find my welder...

If you like Susan Mrosek's work, check out her website. http://www.ponderingpool.com/

Hope

This is one of the most beautiful quotes I have ever read. It really hits home for me right now. Let me tell you why...

I am substitute teaching in a Middle School that happens to be in a poverty stricken area. It is by far the most challenging job I have ever had. I don't think the differences I have seen in behavior are due to the difference in culture, because the culture in this area teaches respect and honor... their true culture and teachings are beautiful; I think the differences are due to poverty. After just eight days of teaching, I have realized that there are extreme highs, and extreme lows. No day ever seems to be without its drama, but there are days that are exciting and incredibly joyful; days that make me feel like I'm on top of the world. And then there are days that bring me to tears; days when I feel like my spirit is being crushed. I must say, a lot of wonderful things have happened in this classroom. Chaos is gone, order is in place, and respect is slowly showing its beautiful face.

Each day I post a quote of the day on the chalkboard. I stumbled across this one, and it immediately took my breath away. It is what I want so badly for the kids in the classes I am teaching. I want them to find their hope...

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.

~ Barbara Kingsolver, American Novelist , 1955-

Go ahead...build your house of hope... I dare you. ~Lisa

The Beautiful Sound of Freedom...

This story makes my heart explode with joy. Wonderful things are happening...

(Please click on "This story")