Come on in... sit down, and have a cup of dare!

Come on in... sit down, and have a cup of dare!
The Dare Chair... scroll down the page to find out what this chair is all about!

Quote of the Week

"Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it." ~Bernard Meltzer

Get Your Groove On! Choose any song you wish, and start dancing in the kitchen!


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Find Your Muchness


You used to be much more... "muchier."
You've lost your muchness.
~Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland
 
My oldest child informed me that she is moving across the country.  In 4 weeks.  That is enough information to take my breath away, have the rug pulled out from under my feet, and make my mind race ahead to all of our family gatherings that will be spent without her.  It puts a lump in my throat and a sigh in my heart.  But that is all about ME, isn't it. 
 
If I look at it through HER eyes, it looks much different... Adventure, sunshine, beaches, and Romeo.  Yes, her Romeo is there, waiting for her to arrive.  Looking at it through HER eyes puts a smile on my face, which is just how it should be.
 
So, during this time of transition, I can choose to lose my muchness, or work my tail off trying to keep it.  Or FIND it.
 
This is why I am reposting my Mad Hatter Wisdom.
Come along... Let's go find some muchness!

Have the stresses of life caused you to lose your muchness? I know... You didn't realize you lost it, did you? As life took over, your muchness leaked out little by little. Mine, too.
Let's get our muchness back. Let's be "muchier" again. Let's laugh much, dream much, love much, believe much, dance much, enjoy much, praise much, wonder much, live much.
Thank you, Mad Hatter, for helping us realize we lost our muchness. Consider it, found.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Things I've Learned

I am reaching the end of a year of change.  Throughout the past year, I have relocated to another state, lost loved ones, sent another child off to the military, tackled a challenging new job, said goodbye to friends and family, and embraced a new city I now call home.  Along the way I have grieved losses, celebrated new beginnings and have gained more than just weight.  It seems the pounds I worked so hard to lose, were given my forwarding address.  They showed up, resumed their positions, and left their bags under my eyes. How rude. They are unwanted guests...  I plan on kicking them out this summer.

So, I would like to tell you the wisdom I have gained.  Get comfy with a cuppa joe, sit back, and take what you want from my thoughts.  Some thoughts may mean nothing to you now, but as you travel down the messy but beautiful road of life, they may be thoughts that will become treasures later. You may need to unpack them someday... when you will need to know somebody else knows exactly how you are feeling.  Put them in your suitcase and save them for a rainy day.

I have learned that change breathes new life into many corners of our world.  Change forces us out of our comfort zones, which is usually where we feel most alive.  Our senses are heightened when we're uncomfortable, and excitement exudes through tackling new things and reaching the mountain peak. Change can bring joy, frustration, happiness, and sadness.  It can invigorate us, and it can break us.  Much of our responsive feelings depend upon our mindset.  Are you heading for change?  If so, pack your suitcase with positive thoughts... They will be needed later.  You will believe whatever it is you are telling yourself, so be nice!

I have learned that grief is a living thing.  It truly has a life of its own, and it is unpredictable.  Grief is a strange thing full of contradictions.  It can suffocate you, yet give life.  It can be ugly, and it can be beautiful.  Grief can be terribly isolating, yet comforting.  Grief can show up as calm waters or tidal waves.  Grief is real.  It is necessary.

I have learned that I can be strong for my husband when he hears that his brother has died, but as soon as I hear my girlfriend's voice, I cry like a baby.  I guess God gives us strength when we need to be strong for others, and sends girlfriends to be strong for us. It's a system that works well.
I like it.
I have learned that there truly are NO WORDS of comfort when in the depths of grief. People mean well, they really do... But I learned that, "I'm sorry," is much more comforting than most words.
I have learned that there is healing power in music and art.  They are good for the soul.

I have learned that sometimes, our children will choose paths that differ from the dreams we have had for them.  Grieve the loss of the dream, let go, and move on.  Remember... Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the dream first, then let go and move on.  There is freedom for everyone when you let go and just enjoy them. Love them. Love them. Love them. It doesn't mean you will love their choices... It means you love your child.

I have learned that my children belong to God.  Thankfully, I learned this 20 years ago, but as life has taken me into uncharted waters, it is always good to remind myself of this one!  I have had to let go and give two of my children to the military.  This Military Mama thing is a tough gig!  It has taught me that there are times in life when my brain can be rational, but my heart cannot.
I have learned that I can relate to mama birds.  When they push their little ones out of the nest, many thoughts of wonder travel through their minds.   Will their new little wings work? Will their wings break? Will they be warm, have enough to eat, find new friends?  Will they get lost? Will they ever find their way home? Mama Bird.  That is me.  I have a mama bird on my breakfast bar. She is tired. A little worn.
A little sad, a little chubby. But, she is strong.  Reminds me of someone I know.

I have learned that there are many times I wish I was more like my kids... They are amazing people.  They walk with confidence.  They stand for what they believe and make no apologies about it.  They are kind, forgiving, truthful, compassionate, and generous.  I want to be more like them when I grow up.

I have learned that one of the most wonderful things in the world is knowing that my husband adores me. That gives me strength, confidence, and a feeling that is indescribable. It makes my heart glad, puts a dance in my step and a smile on my face.
As I look back on what I have learned, I notice that the theme is loss, grief, and letting go. These lessons gave me more gray hair, wrinkles, and pounds, but more important things came along the bumpy ride. I now have a new level of compassion. A new appreciation for joyful moments. A realization that sometimes, I forget to smile. Wow. That never used to happen! Although that makes me sad, it also makes me realize that everyone has a story. Their story may be the cause of fewer smiles. My new mission? To make others smile. For in doing so, my joy will be in abundance, and maybe my smiles will come more often. So here's to life and all of its lessons. May we take the time to sit back, reflect on our journeys, and learn from every experience. May we grow up to be full of gray hair and wrinkles that we earned through joys, heartaches, weakness, and strength. May we find joy in the journey and love with abandon along the way.

The Dare Chair

Come on in, and pull up a chair! I'm here to inspire you, encourage you, or just plaine Double Dog Dare you to get out and do something you never thought you could do! Periodically, I'll add a quote, comment, or story which will hopefully give you just enough of a nudge to follow your dreams... to take that class, go rock climbing, run a marathon, start that exercise routine, eat healthy, write a book, or whatever your heart desires. You are the author of your life... live it!

Monday: Sit down, have a cup of dare, and write down your goals. Post them all over the house, if it helps! No matter how crazy the goals seem, don't talk yourself out of them! You are strong, you are invincible, you are WOMAN!

Tuesday:
Find a friend to hold you accountable. Accountability is huge! If you have a network of support, your chances of failing are less. Make sure you choose someone that is not afraid of pushing you! Usually moms, grandmas and husbands are not the best choices; they're either afraid of hurting your feelings, think you are fine just the way you are, or do not want to end up in the dog's house! So, choose that friend that is honest, no matter what the cost... trust me, you'll need her!

Wednesday:
Okay, so now you have someone to hold you accountable; great start. Now, be a blabber-mouth. Tell as many people as you can what your goal is. Knowing that so many people are waiting for you to succeed will be a huge motivator. I know when I skiied the Birkie, there were many times along the trail that I truly wanted to quit. I knew I had a cheering section on Main Street waiting for me to cross that finish line. That was enough to motivate me to keep going, one stride at a time.

Thursday:
If you fully realize nothing else, take a big dose of reality on this one... this is going to be hard, uncomfortable, and many times not enjoyable (depending on what the goal is). So, now that you know that, get over it! Achieving your goal will be worth the sweat and tears. Really... it will. Push yourself beyond your former limits. Get rid of self doubt! Even if it is the hardest thing you've ever done, do it with all you've got! Swallow your insecurities, hide your inhibitions, and show yourself just how strong you really are. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Friday:
Try not to look too far into the future. Break your goal into steps, and focus on one at a time. Now, if your goal is to join a class, by all means bite the bullet and do it now; no need to take baby steps on that one! But, if your goal is for example, a marathon, don't quit after the first week because you can't run ten miles! Give yourself time to reach the larger goals. In the meantime, give it ALL YOU'VE GOT, and be pleased with the little steps towards your goal.

Saturday:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!!! (Take it from Winston Churchill... he knew what he was talking about!)


Sunday:
Take one day to rest, or have a special treat. You've worked hard all week, but make sure you don't reward yourself too much... i.e. a whole bag of Hershey's Kisses!!!

SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHOW THEM YOUR PROGRESS, WHETHER IT IS ART WORK YOU'VE DONE, CLASS WORK, A NEW DANCE YOU'VE LEARNED, OR THE NEW PAIR OF PANTS YOU NOW FIT INTO. CELEBRATE!!

Check out the Blog Archive for writings pertaining to the Dare Chair: April--Uncomfortable, Checking In

INSPIRING QUOTES: If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell. ~Lance Armstrong
If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.
Barbara Bush
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.
John F. Kennedy
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.
Louisa May Alcott
There's a need for accepting responsibility - for a person's life and making choices that are not just ones for immediate short-term comfort. You need to make an investment, and the investment is in health and education.
Buzz Aldrin

This Chick's Groovy Music... start dancin'!

  • Aretha Franklin
  • Chicago Motion Picture Soundtrack... This one is great to sing along to... especially when cleaning the house!
  • Chris Botti... great trumpet player, his music is just beautiful!
  • Christmas Music, of course! Bing, Frank, Rosemary... all the classics!
  • Diana Krall
  • Ella Fitzgerald
  • Eric Clapton... I can' t seem to hear enough of his music lately!
  • Eva Cassidy... worth finding!
  • Johnny Cash - great for two-stepping around the kitchen island... if a babe is in your arms, all the better! (A tiny babe, or a Hunky Babe... either one will do!)
  • Loggins & Messina.... ahh... "feel good" music
  • Neil Diamond... I've loved his music my whole life.
  • Norah Jones
  • Phantom of the Opera (motion picture soundtrack)
  • Ray Charles... I can't help but to smile when I hear him sing.
  • Renee Olstead
  • The Notebook Motion Picture Soundtrack