Come on in... sit down, and have a cup of dare!

Come on in... sit down, and have a cup of dare!
The Dare Chair... scroll down the page to find out what this chair is all about!

Quote of the Week

"Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it." ~Bernard Meltzer

Get Your Groove On! Choose any song you wish, and start dancing in the kitchen!


Saturday, January 19, 2008

Realizations


My friend Anne, sent this to me today; it is beautiful. May we all learn from it, and apply it to our lives. The author did not sign it. Thank you, author, whomever you may be; your writing is insightful, inspiring, and encouraging.




REALIZATIONS…

A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming nor Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment are born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, and it's not your job to save the world. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen be different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens - you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
You learn your truth and then live it.

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The Dare Chair

Come on in, and pull up a chair! I'm here to inspire you, encourage you, or just plaine Double Dog Dare you to get out and do something you never thought you could do! Periodically, I'll add a quote, comment, or story which will hopefully give you just enough of a nudge to follow your dreams... to take that class, go rock climbing, run a marathon, start that exercise routine, eat healthy, write a book, or whatever your heart desires. You are the author of your life... live it!

Monday: Sit down, have a cup of dare, and write down your goals. Post them all over the house, if it helps! No matter how crazy the goals seem, don't talk yourself out of them! You are strong, you are invincible, you are WOMAN!

Tuesday:
Find a friend to hold you accountable. Accountability is huge! If you have a network of support, your chances of failing are less. Make sure you choose someone that is not afraid of pushing you! Usually moms, grandmas and husbands are not the best choices; they're either afraid of hurting your feelings, think you are fine just the way you are, or do not want to end up in the dog's house! So, choose that friend that is honest, no matter what the cost... trust me, you'll need her!

Wednesday:
Okay, so now you have someone to hold you accountable; great start. Now, be a blabber-mouth. Tell as many people as you can what your goal is. Knowing that so many people are waiting for you to succeed will be a huge motivator. I know when I skiied the Birkie, there were many times along the trail that I truly wanted to quit. I knew I had a cheering section on Main Street waiting for me to cross that finish line. That was enough to motivate me to keep going, one stride at a time.

Thursday:
If you fully realize nothing else, take a big dose of reality on this one... this is going to be hard, uncomfortable, and many times not enjoyable (depending on what the goal is). So, now that you know that, get over it! Achieving your goal will be worth the sweat and tears. Really... it will. Push yourself beyond your former limits. Get rid of self doubt! Even if it is the hardest thing you've ever done, do it with all you've got! Swallow your insecurities, hide your inhibitions, and show yourself just how strong you really are. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Friday:
Try not to look too far into the future. Break your goal into steps, and focus on one at a time. Now, if your goal is to join a class, by all means bite the bullet and do it now; no need to take baby steps on that one! But, if your goal is for example, a marathon, don't quit after the first week because you can't run ten miles! Give yourself time to reach the larger goals. In the meantime, give it ALL YOU'VE GOT, and be pleased with the little steps towards your goal.

Saturday:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!!! (Take it from Winston Churchill... he knew what he was talking about!)


Sunday:
Take one day to rest, or have a special treat. You've worked hard all week, but make sure you don't reward yourself too much... i.e. a whole bag of Hershey's Kisses!!!

SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHOW THEM YOUR PROGRESS, WHETHER IT IS ART WORK YOU'VE DONE, CLASS WORK, A NEW DANCE YOU'VE LEARNED, OR THE NEW PAIR OF PANTS YOU NOW FIT INTO. CELEBRATE!!

Check out the Blog Archive for writings pertaining to the Dare Chair: April--Uncomfortable, Checking In

INSPIRING QUOTES: If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell. ~Lance Armstrong
If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.
Barbara Bush
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.
John F. Kennedy
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.
Louisa May Alcott
There's a need for accepting responsibility - for a person's life and making choices that are not just ones for immediate short-term comfort. You need to make an investment, and the investment is in health and education.
Buzz Aldrin

This Chick's Groovy Music... start dancin'!

  • Aretha Franklin
  • Chicago Motion Picture Soundtrack... This one is great to sing along to... especially when cleaning the house!
  • Chris Botti... great trumpet player, his music is just beautiful!
  • Christmas Music, of course! Bing, Frank, Rosemary... all the classics!
  • Diana Krall
  • Ella Fitzgerald
  • Eric Clapton... I can' t seem to hear enough of his music lately!
  • Eva Cassidy... worth finding!
  • Johnny Cash - great for two-stepping around the kitchen island... if a babe is in your arms, all the better! (A tiny babe, or a Hunky Babe... either one will do!)
  • Loggins & Messina.... ahh... "feel good" music
  • Neil Diamond... I've loved his music my whole life.
  • Norah Jones
  • Phantom of the Opera (motion picture soundtrack)
  • Ray Charles... I can't help but to smile when I hear him sing.
  • Renee Olstead
  • The Notebook Motion Picture Soundtrack