Tsk... Who Am I Kidding?

So... My previous post was my lame attempt

to shed my envious thoughts.

Who am I kidding?

I want to go to Rome.

Standing Tall

I stood up for myself today... Never backed down, even when my hands were shaking. It affected my family, not just me, so the Mama Bear in me came out, and I stood tall, and firm, and demanded that men listen to my growl! I will not go into detail, but I just wanted you to know that I did it. I stood tall, and firm, demanding truth and justice. Did I get it? Not as much as I would have liked, but enough to thank God for backing me up with a cup of courage, and a dose of determination.

I feel a dare coming on...

I dare you to stand up for something you truly believe in. It doesn't have to be a big thing; it can be eensy-weensy... No matter. It just needs to be something that is true, and right. It may be scary waters you're treading, but if it is something you truly believe in, it will be worth it. Just remember to be fair, and have all of your facts right, and your ducks in a row.

Go on, Mama Bear... You can do it!

These Character Traits Look Familiar...

I am experiencing my mother's revenge...

I have not one, but THREE out of four children who are just as stubborn as I am, and just as outspoken, not to mention ALWAYS having to have the last word!! This, I cannot blame on my husband's genes; it's all me, and these genes fit me like a glove.

I'm sure, without a doubt, that my mom is laughing herself to sleep each night, relishing in the sweet revenge of her daughter having children JUST LIKE HER!

My satisfaction? The hope of my children having kids that are just like them!

A few moments later after the guilt of what I had typed started to seep in...

I dearly love my children, and am incredibly thankful for them. I'm just having a severe case of crabbiness, and cannot seem to shake it. I have one nerve left, and you know the story.... Everyone is on it!

Okay, now that I have gotten that off of my chest, I can honestly say that I DO hope they have kids just like them... Brave, honest, fun, thoughtful, generous, sweet, lovable, kind, funny... And the list goes on. I know that the stubbornness, outspokenness, and boldness will help them get through life if they channel those qualities towards what is right, true, and good. I just happen to be the one with the file, filing the rough edges. It's a tough job, but I guess God thinks I have what it takes to get the job done.

How about you? What tough jobs does God think you are qualified for? Whatever it is, do it well, fully knowing that He has given you the tools you need. Really, He will... Check your toolbox; everything you'll need is in there.

I'm Back!!

I am alive, and well, and living among the teachers enjoying summer vacation. I am grateful to all of you loyal readers who kept checking to see something new, only to find that I had abandoned my blogging post. I am sorry; truly, I am. You see, I seemed to have had my creativity and energy sucked out of me once I hit the big time... my own 5th grade classroom. Yikes! My schedule left me spinning! Okay, spinning, and eating my way through stress. Do you remember the "Freshman 15?" Yeah, well I guess you can call me the freshman/newbie at school. I ended the year with most of my marbles... hopefully my best, and most colorful marbles... but unfortunately, I also ended the year with an extra 15 pounds! Is that humanly possible? Geeze, Louise... I MUST find a better way to cope with stress!!! Now that I have my first year back in the classroom under my belt, (my belt that BARELY FITS anymore!) I am hopeful that next year will be a little calmer.

I guess my next step is to plant my not so tiny tush into that DARE CHAIR and get rid of this freshman 15. My plans? I'm joining a fitness club, and am stocking the fridge and cupboards with whole foods. Less packaged foods; that should help! I borrowed many books from the library, and am on my way to being a do-it-yourself nutritionist! My kids are scared to death.

"Sure, pineapple tastes like candy, Mom!" "Not in MY world," they say! "Adventure", I tell them... "Send your taste buds on an adventure! " I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, is there anyone who would like to join me in the DARE CHAIR? I'm sure my booty will take up the whole chair, but you can sit on my lap!

Conniptions

There is something that I don't handle well.

I never have, and tonight it was proven that I still do not...

at all.

What is it?

Vomit.

All of you moms out there know it comes with the territory; it's inevitable. It doesn't mean however, that we all handle it with the grace of June Cleaver.

Brynn, my 4 year-old was exhausted tonight. She suddenly complained of a stomach ache at bedtime. She is my fourth child, so my first instinct was to quickly say, "Do you feel like you're going to throw up?" Actually, it is quite amazing how just the thought of it makes me drop everything and turn in a flash, preparing to scoop up a queasy child, and sprint to the toilet. If there was an Olympic race of rushing sick kids to the bathroom, I'm sure I would be a contender for the gold. You see, cleaning up vomit is ... it's... well, I simply cannot convey how much I detest it.

So, after Brynn assured me she wasn't going to toss her cookies, I breathed a sigh of relief, chalked it up to exhaustion from starting a new school year, and tucked her in.

Right!

A few minutes later, I heard the pitter-patter of little feet scurrying down the hallway, followed by a weak, "Mommy?!" It is fascinating how a mother just knows things. I looked at Brynn and yelled, "Run to the toilet!!!!" She turned around and ran down the hall, vomiting all the way. She made the corner, and planted one last gigantic hurl in the bathroom. All the while, this tired, frazzled mom is yelling, "Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Oh #*%#" Then there was 5 year-old Jack, making all sorts of disgusting sounds as he watched the entertainment in the hallway. I hollered at him to close the door and get in bed. Within the next two minutes he needed a band-aid and a glass of water, and.... "Can't you see what I am cleaning up?!," followed by, "I wouldn't ask Mommy for anything right now if I were you!"

Well, there you have it; the confessions of a mom who blew it. I could have handled the situation so much better. I was feeling really guilty about it, when something suddenly dawned on me. Every one of my kids have now witnessed one of my Vomit Conniptions. There was the time my son threw up over his bed. He was on the top bunk. Mmm Hmm. I know another involved a car; and then there was the new carpet. So, I decided that it is because of these conniptions, that my kids are now such good patients. You see, I'm a great nurse when there is a bucket, a can of Lysol, and Kleenex. The kids never even have to leave their beds! We have a great system down, and I stay calm as can be. June Cleaver would be proud!

As for the conniptions...

I'll be sure to pack terrific therapists' business cards in their suitcases when they head off on their own.

The Death of Common Sense

~Author Unknown


My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me for a moment of silence in remembrance. For Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.









Obituary
Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when pa rents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't legally defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Staying With the Group

So, my little boy went on a field trip with his Preschool class. On the way to school, I talked to him about staying with his group, and not wandering off. At the end of the day, his teacher told me that his leader had a bit of trouble keeping him from wandering. Not my little guy! Ha! Didn't surprise me a bit. Here's how the conversation went on the way home...

Mom: "Son, I told you that you needed to stay with your group today."

Son: "I did, Mom!"

Mom: "Well, I heard your leader said you wandered away from the group."

Son: "Nuh uh! I didn't! I just went behind the tree!"

Mom: "Well you know son, it's hard for the leaders to keep all of the preschool kids together."

Son: 'Well, it's hard to stay with the group!"

I was not agreeing with him on this one, and he could tell, so he pipes in....

"It's hard staying with the group when your brain is telling you you want to go behind the tree!"

Mom: "Okay, you're right.... it's hard staying with the group."

Who can argue with that one?