Come on in... sit down, and have a cup of dare!

Come on in... sit down, and have a cup of dare!
The Dare Chair... scroll down the page to find out what this chair is all about!

Quote of the Week

"Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it." ~Bernard Meltzer

Get Your Groove On! Choose any song you wish, and start dancing in the kitchen!


Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"Whaaaaaat?????"



American Idol has returned to bring us entertainment, yet again. Gotta love it. While snuggling on the couch with my little Jack, he turns to me and says, "Mom, your skin feels like the cheese that's on our sandwiches at school."

"Whaaaaat?????"

"Your skin.... It feels like the cheese that is on our school-lunch sandwiches. You know... the melted, cheese sandwiches."

I'm going to let your imagination roll at this point.

Are you done laughing yet? No?

I'll give you some time to catch your breath.

So, here's the catch... I was wearing my knee-high leather boots, which his bare feet were resting on, hence, the cheese effect.

WHEW!!!


Sunday, September 13, 2009

WhatWas I Thinking?


Picture a 5th Grade Classroom. Now, I will fill in the actual dialog:


Myah: "Mrs. Johnson, why do you dress up every day? You always match. Why do you dress up every day?"


Mrs. Johnson (That would be me.): "Because I'm a professional."


Cody, with a very puzzled look on his face: "Mrs. Johnson, you're not a professional, you're a teacher!"



Silly me... What was I thinking?!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Conniptions




There is something that I don't handle well.

I never have, and tonight it was proven that I still do not...

at all.

What is it?
Vomit.
All of you moms out there know it comes with the territory; it's inevitable. It doesn't mean however, that we all handle it with the grace of June Cleaver.

Brynn, my 4 year-old was exhausted tonight. She suddenly complained of a stomach ache at bedtime. She is my fourth child, so my first instinct was to quickly say, "Do you feel like you're going to throw up?" Actually, it is quite amazing how just the thought of it makes me drop everything and turn in a flash, preparing to scoop up a queasy child, and sprint to the toilet. If there was an Olympic race of rushing sick kids to the bathroom, I'm sure I would be a contender for the gold. You see, cleaning up vomit is ... it's... well, I simply cannot convey how much I detest it.
So, after Brynn assured me she wasn't going to toss her cookies, I breathed a sigh of relief, chalked it up to exhaustion from starting a new school year, and tucked her in.

Right!

A few minutes later, I heard the pitter-patter of little feet scurrying down the hallway, followed by a weak, "Mommy?!" It is fascinating how a mother just knows things. I looked at Brynn and yelled, "Run to the toilet!!!!" She turned around and ran down the hall, vomiting all the way. She made the corner, and planted one last gigantic hurl in the bathroom. All the while, this tired, frazzled mom is yelling, "Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Oh #*%#" Then there was 5 year-old Jack, making all sorts of disgusting sounds as he watched the entertainment in the hallway. I hollered at him to close the door and get in bed. Within the next two minutes he needed a band-aid and a glass of water, and.... "Can't you see what I am cleaning up?!," followed by, "I wouldn't ask Mommy for anything right now if I were you!"

Well, there you have it; the confessions of a mom who blew it. I could have handled the situation so much better. I was feeling really guilty about it, when something suddenly dawned on me. Every one of my kids have now witnessed one of my Vomit Conniptions. There was the time my son threw up over his bed. He was on the top bunk. Mmm Hmm. I know another involved a car; and then there was the new carpet. So, I decided that it is because of these conniptions, that my kids are now such good patients. You see, I'm a great nurse when there is a bucket, a can of Lysol, and Kleenex. The kids never even have to leave their beds! We have a great system down, and I stay calm as can be. June Cleaver would be proud!


As for the conniptions...


I'll be sure to pack terrific therapists' business cards in their suitcases when they head off on their own.



Saturday, September 6, 2008

At the Bus Stop


The other day, Jack decided that he needed to bring his Kinder-mat to school. I knew they had rest time in the afternoon, and he said the mat he had used was dirty, so I was fine with him bringing his own.

As the bus was coming to a complete stop, Jack decided that he really didn't want to bring his mat anymore. So, without saying a word, he turned around and made a jolt for home at full speed. Now, I'm going to let you in on a little family information... Jack's 14 year-old brother, Blake, does not think the things a 5 year-old brother does are amusing, cute, or adorable in any way, shape, or form. Having said that, picture this: Jack is high-tailing it down the street with Blake chasing him, angry as can be, while a busload of kids are watching and waiting, fully amused. Blake caught up with Jack, picked him up, back pack, Kinder-mat, and all, and carried him back to the bus, as Jack was kicking and screaming the entire way. You see, Jack had it in his mind that he would just run home, drop off the mat, and all would be well. Unfortunately, no one else saw it that way, especially his big brother.

I'm not sure how many shades of red Blake's face was when he got on the bus, and walked that long aisle to the back. I'd venture to guess that it probably was just as red as when he got to class and found that the story had already spread. Being a freshman is hard enough without your little brother giving "ammo" to the upper classmen!
Poor Blake.
I probably didn't help any...

I couldn't stop laughing.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Trying to Take My Own Advice


Yesterday I wrote about ignoring the things that bug you, and paying attention to the things that truly matter.


I am trying to do just that.


I am really, truly trying to pay attention... through clenched teeth.


What happens when the things that bug you are so loud that you cannot hear the quiet little voices of beauty? You know, when the annoying inconveniences are yelling, screaming, grabbing your attention. How can you concentrate on the beautiful symphonies of life?
You are probably wondering what is going on. Oh, just the simple frustrations of motherhood. You know... repeating commands to no avail, sticky floors, revolving messes, kids taking 2 hours to eat a perfectly good meal, whining, tattling, and so on. Let me share...


Has anyone ever told you that kids are gross? Especially boys. I don't know... I think those girls are onto something with the whole "boys have cooties" thing. My 5 1/2 year-old son has decided lately that wiping, flushing, and the washing of grubby hands after using the toilet, are no longer necessary duties in his daily routine. GROSS! This is the same kid who will change his clothes if they get a bit dirty! What's with that?! After picking at his food at the kitchen table for about AN HOUR, Jack needed to use the bathroom. He came back, and started to eat. Wait a minute... no flushing sound, no water. GROSS! I marched him back to the bathroom while giving him the, "You can make everyone in this family very, very sick...." speech. He shrugged it off, washed his hands, then started picking at his cold, sorry dinner. As I was putting away clean towels, I noticed Brynn's toothbrush and toothpaste in the sink... not on the counter top, but IN the sink.(Why on earth should it be put back in the medicine cabinet? It's just going to be needed tomorrow, anyway.) Then it dawned on me... "JAAAACCKK! Was Brynn's toothbrush in the sink when you washed your hands????!!!" Okay ladies, you've all witnessed the look. The, "Yeah... so... what's the big deal?" look. GROSS!!!!


That's it.

Kids are gross.

The toothbrush is in the garbage.

I'm trying to pay attention.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Refining Fire


I must admit, I am amazed.

I was confused.

Now it is all clear.


The subbing job that I told you about, on the Reservation, has been the hardest job I have ever had in my life. I was shocked, I cried, and I must sadly admit that I never wanted to work there, even if I was paid a million dollars.


Fast forward 3 weeks...


I LOVE IT!!!!!


"WHAT?!," you say?


Yes, I love it. I was put through the refining fire by the students, and I have arrived on the other side, molded, strong, and shining. I understand why they tested me and did not trust me just because I am a teacher. I actually have a respect for their tests. Their trust does not come easily. I feel like I have won a medal worth far more than any medal Hollywood could give. I have won the respect of middle school children who have been through far more in their short lives than I have. They hold onto their trust, and do not give it away easily; you must earn it... every bit of it.


Yesterday, two 8th graders thanked me for taking their teacher's place. Their gift of thanks meant the world to me... it brought tears to my eyes. That thanks was hard-earned. I will never forget that feeling.


I adore the kids that have been in my classes. I hope to watch them grow, explore, and succeed. They taught me a whole lot in 3 weeks. I am sad that I only have one week left with them.


They will truly be missed.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Help?!... Anyone?!


So, I was making dinner the other night, when I was pulled away from the kitchen due to a clogged toilet. Great. Ugh.


Four kids using one bathroom, and no one fesses up to clogging it. No one offers to help unclog it.


Plunge, plunge, plunge away.

No good. Plunge some more. This clog took some muscle. Who needs to go to the gym when one has clogged toilets to plunge? Gross.


As I was plunging, the timer went off, telling us all that dinner was ready... ready to be taken out of the oven, that is. Beep, beep, beep...


No Calvary.


Beep, beep. beep... (plunge, plunge, plunge...)


Surely, somebody will take the fish and potatoes out of the oven for me.


Beep, beep, beep...


Next came the smoke alarm due to the not-so-spic-and-span oven.


BEEP, BEEP, BEEP...


The timer and smoke alarm are now both going off in unison as I plunge away, and NO ONE shows up to help!


I couldn't decide if I was angry that they were oblivious to the situation, or envious! I wish I could ignore life's BEEPS sometimes!


Help?!... Anyone?!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Summer, where are you?


This morning...


"How long until summer, Mom?" said my little boy.


"Oh Jack, summer isn't for a very long time. You need to enjoy the snow while it's here!"


"But I've already enjoyed the snow!! Why can't summer come so I can enjoy that?!"


Something tells me he'll be heading south when he grows up!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Get A Grip!

I bought some tea the other day.
It sits in my windowsill above my kitchen sink. A reminder to this frazzled mom... get a grip, it tells me. I've needed that reminder lately as I make my way through the fog of temper tantrums, a new driver in the house, and a son who has been really good at being 13 lately.

Get a grip.
Get a grip.
Get a grip.

It claims that I will find hormonal balance. Balance is a good thing. Every woman could use some hormonal balance, just ask the people living with her! So, I will sit, sip, and get some balance in my life. And for this day, I will heed its' advice. I will take a deep breath, and get a good grip.

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Invisible Woman


I received this story the other day, from my friend Debbie. It is written by Nicole Johnson, and touched me so much that I knew I had to share it. I hope it is an inspiration to you.

The Invisible Woman

By Nicole Johnson


It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?" "Nobody," he shrugged. "Nobody?" The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street, I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?" I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing. Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking. That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me. I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not! No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought this for you." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: *No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. *These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. *They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. * The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied,"Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built,but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Thunderstorm


One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"


The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."


A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: "The big sissy."


(Taken from the book, Espresso for your Spirit... Hope and Humor for Pooped Out Parents by Pam Vredevelt)

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Last Shred of Sanity


So... sometimes I'm not cool as a cucumber. Sometimes I wonder how I will actually end the day at the same level of sanity as when I started it. Well, yesterday I found myself sitting in my Suburban. It was parked in my garage. The windows were up... it was a bit warm. What was I doing? Hiding from my children. (Did I mention how needy and greedy they are?) I continued to hide for five minutes while I ate licorice. Five minutes not so long, you say? Oh my friend, you highly underestimate the speed and rate of consumption during ANGER EATING. It is quite staggering. Nobody found me! I polished off the licorice before anyone was even calling me! (Okay... truth be told... the windows were up despite of the heat. They may have been calling, but I never heard them.) As I was sitting there, I did happen to notice how nicely my husband has organized the garage. But of course it is organized... he gets to work without kids at his beck and call. "Go ask your mother," is his usual reply! Still, I did admire his work as I overheated in the stifling suburban. Did I mention I reclined the seat? Lo and behold, I hung on tightly to my last bit of sanity for yet another day. Life is good.


Monday, June 11, 2007

Freedom Writers


Do you ever read a book, then see the movie, and are disappointed? It seems that your imagination, and the details in the book, never quite measure up to the movie.


Well, I was pleasantly surprised when I watched The Freedom Writers Diary, starring Hilary Swank. I previously posted a bit about the book, The Freedom Writers Diary, and raved about how good it was. Let me tell you... the movie is excellent, and remains true to the story. The actors are so good, I forgot many times that they were actors, and not the true Freedom Writers. I highly recommend the movie. Hilary Swank does a wonderful job portraying Erin Gruwell.


The movie is available in DVD. Please take the time to watch it. It is imperative that we all get a glimpse of what life is like for so many kids in America. May God bless Erin Gruwell, and all of the people like her that are willing to make a difference.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Staying With the Group




So, my little boy went on a field trip with his Preschool class. On the way to school, I talked to him about staying with his group, and not wandering off. At the end of the day, his teacher told me that his leader had a bit of trouble keeping him from wandering. Not my little guy! Ha! Didn't surprise me a bit. Here's how the conversation went on the way home...




Mom: "Son, I told you that you needed to stay with your group today."




Son: "I did, Mom!"




Mom: "Well, I heard your leader said you wandered away from the group."




Son: "Nuh uh! I didn't! I just went behind the tree!"




Mom: "Well you know son, it's hard for the leaders to keep all of the preschool kids together."




Son: 'Well, it's hard to stay with the group!"




I was not agreeing with him on this one, and he could tell, so he pipes in....




"It's hard staying with the group when your brain is telling you you want to go behind the tree!"




Mom: "Okay, you're right.... it's hard staying with the group."




Who can argue with that one?

Monday, March 12, 2007

What's With That?

Okay... So I thought I had it down. Last kid. Potty training. It should be a breeze by the time the fourth one comes along, right? I knew well enough to wait until she was ready. No Potty Training Camp for Mom! She did great! One day she decided that was it, she no longer needed diapers. Super! Just over 2 1/2, and it was accomplished just like that! One accident during naptime, days were a cinch. Boy, do I know what I'm doing, or what? Out on the town... no problem! What a wise woman I have become.

One month later...
What in the heck? I am suddenly finding "presents" around the house. Out of the blue, this sweet, potty-trained little thing has decided not to use the toilet. I guess it got old, and she needed a change of scenery to do her duty. Her little outhouse has been in the hallway, on her bedroom floor, poo poo on my sweatshirt, okay it was not put away, and was on my bedroom floor, but please! Then, there was the hidden treasure. I noticed that the ski on my Nordic Track was slipping a bit, so I lifted the ski to see what the problem was. Lo and behold, I found pee pee, poo poo, and toilet paper in my Nordic Track! Okay ladies, you think it is hard peeing in a coffee can when you're camping? This girl has got some talent! She aimed right in those ski tracks and hit the target!

I just want to know...
What's with that?!

The Dare Chair

Come on in, and pull up a chair! I'm here to inspire you, encourage you, or just plaine Double Dog Dare you to get out and do something you never thought you could do! Periodically, I'll add a quote, comment, or story which will hopefully give you just enough of a nudge to follow your dreams... to take that class, go rock climbing, run a marathon, start that exercise routine, eat healthy, write a book, or whatever your heart desires. You are the author of your life... live it!

Monday: Sit down, have a cup of dare, and write down your goals. Post them all over the house, if it helps! No matter how crazy the goals seem, don't talk yourself out of them! You are strong, you are invincible, you are WOMAN!

Tuesday:
Find a friend to hold you accountable. Accountability is huge! If you have a network of support, your chances of failing are less. Make sure you choose someone that is not afraid of pushing you! Usually moms, grandmas and husbands are not the best choices; they're either afraid of hurting your feelings, think you are fine just the way you are, or do not want to end up in the dog's house! So, choose that friend that is honest, no matter what the cost... trust me, you'll need her!

Wednesday:
Okay, so now you have someone to hold you accountable; great start. Now, be a blabber-mouth. Tell as many people as you can what your goal is. Knowing that so many people are waiting for you to succeed will be a huge motivator. I know when I skiied the Birkie, there were many times along the trail that I truly wanted to quit. I knew I had a cheering section on Main Street waiting for me to cross that finish line. That was enough to motivate me to keep going, one stride at a time.

Thursday:
If you fully realize nothing else, take a big dose of reality on this one... this is going to be hard, uncomfortable, and many times not enjoyable (depending on what the goal is). So, now that you know that, get over it! Achieving your goal will be worth the sweat and tears. Really... it will. Push yourself beyond your former limits. Get rid of self doubt! Even if it is the hardest thing you've ever done, do it with all you've got! Swallow your insecurities, hide your inhibitions, and show yourself just how strong you really are. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Friday:
Try not to look too far into the future. Break your goal into steps, and focus on one at a time. Now, if your goal is to join a class, by all means bite the bullet and do it now; no need to take baby steps on that one! But, if your goal is for example, a marathon, don't quit after the first week because you can't run ten miles! Give yourself time to reach the larger goals. In the meantime, give it ALL YOU'VE GOT, and be pleased with the little steps towards your goal.

Saturday:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!!! (Take it from Winston Churchill... he knew what he was talking about!)


Sunday:
Take one day to rest, or have a special treat. You've worked hard all week, but make sure you don't reward yourself too much... i.e. a whole bag of Hershey's Kisses!!!

SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHOW THEM YOUR PROGRESS, WHETHER IT IS ART WORK YOU'VE DONE, CLASS WORK, A NEW DANCE YOU'VE LEARNED, OR THE NEW PAIR OF PANTS YOU NOW FIT INTO. CELEBRATE!!

Check out the Blog Archive for writings pertaining to the Dare Chair: April--Uncomfortable, Checking In

INSPIRING QUOTES: If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell. ~Lance Armstrong
If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.
Barbara Bush
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.
John F. Kennedy
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.
Louisa May Alcott
There's a need for accepting responsibility - for a person's life and making choices that are not just ones for immediate short-term comfort. You need to make an investment, and the investment is in health and education.
Buzz Aldrin

This Chick's Groovy Music... start dancin'!

  • Aretha Franklin
  • Chicago Motion Picture Soundtrack... This one is great to sing along to... especially when cleaning the house!
  • Chris Botti... great trumpet player, his music is just beautiful!
  • Christmas Music, of course! Bing, Frank, Rosemary... all the classics!
  • Diana Krall
  • Ella Fitzgerald
  • Eric Clapton... I can' t seem to hear enough of his music lately!
  • Eva Cassidy... worth finding!
  • Johnny Cash - great for two-stepping around the kitchen island... if a babe is in your arms, all the better! (A tiny babe, or a Hunky Babe... either one will do!)
  • Loggins & Messina.... ahh... "feel good" music
  • Neil Diamond... I've loved his music my whole life.
  • Norah Jones
  • Phantom of the Opera (motion picture soundtrack)
  • Ray Charles... I can't help but to smile when I hear him sing.
  • Renee Olstead
  • The Notebook Motion Picture Soundtrack